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Business Features and Columns (Samples)

How Short Guys Learned to Dunk

 

 Column Series

 

It’s a curious religion, self-employment. I am an evangelist for one of its rowdier sects: “The Church of the Gleefully Obstinate Itty Bitty Business Owners”.


We are a scrappy bunch who own corner bakeries, neighborhood restaurants and innumerable assorted solo and  family-run businesses. We’re lined up on the Colerain super slabs, tucked into Mason office buildings, and hidden down quiet east side cul de sacs. We don’t have MBA’s, don’t trust anyone bigger than ourselves and are perfectly content inside the walls of our midget fiefdoms, as long as the government and the big kids on the block leave us the hell alone.

It’s a tough dogma our little church preaches, filled with stone-faced pragmatism, pulpit-pounding tenacity, fire and brimstone determination and the kind of willful independence that’s so uniquely American. Our catechism is straightforward: The greatest sin is working for someone else. Heaven is any business we can control on our terms. And, Hell is the consequence , if you interview with the Proctor and Gamble Human Resources Department.

It doesn't matter the shape of the economy, your chance at success is the greatest since our economy was bounced off the farm. And, it certainly is a better alternative to waiting around for someone to hire you.  When you are self-employed the only way to get fired is to quit trying. 

You are living in a time when a spare bedroom, the right instincts and a decent product are most of what you need to put up a good fight. Today’s technology, the inexorable decentralization of our economy, and the legitimacy of home-based businesses mean it has never been less expensive to get in the game.

Our congregation doesn’t care if you sell insurance, own a hair salon, practice law, or have a butt-kicking salsa recipe. It doesn’t matter if you’re in one of those fancy offices or squeezed between the cat box and the washing machine  What matters is if you are to survive, you are required to do what comes naturally.

Once you understand the fundamental business laws of nature, you come to understand that your imagination, street sense and obstinacy will outlast and out perform anything designed by a room stuffed with corporate suits. Our orthodoxy is defined by the belief that those of you who will soar are those who can identify your own particular brand of genius and have the audacity to calmly stand buck naked on the public square touting it.

As a little runt your greatest asset is your reaction time. Technology today is enabling countless windows of opportunity in every business to open without prior notice. Your ability to identify and your comfort with instantaneously changing direction midway through your morning’s cup of coffee can make the difference between success and failure.

The rules of engagement when you’re tiny are vastly different from what some of you witnessed as an employee or much of what you’re hearing from consultants who learned their lessons at corporate headquarters. Conventional boardroom wisdom, authored by folks who haven’t had a creative thought since grade school, must be replaced with the same common sense my father used selling double-chocolate malts up and down the streets of Monfort Heights from the back of his Mr. Softee trucks.

When you are on your own, your speed and size allow you to identify and occupy niches others are too big to explore. Just as you shoved your smallest sibling through the fence to retrieve yesterday’s home run, so too size allows you to scramble onto a lush tiny plot of turf and quickly stake your claim. If you were back on another’s payroll, chances are you and the Legal Department would still be staring at the ball on the other side transfixed by the “No Trespassing” sign.

In the months ahead, we will offer up what we know and try to make you feel comfortable with the rest. We will give you permission to make lots of mistakes and be scared out of your wits on a daily basis.

It’s an exciting way to look at the world, this self-employment. It’s the opportunity to design your life on your terms rather than the crowd’s

Welcome to the congregation!

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The Cat in Hat and Other Horror Stories

Business Feature

But on you will go though the weather be foul.

On you will go through the enemy’s prowl

On you will go though the Hakken-kraks howl.

Onward up many a frightening creek.

Though your arms may soar and your sneakers will leak.

Oh! The Places You Will Go!!

-Dr. Seuss.

There are pitifully few things about this life of which I’m certain. I am utterly convinced, however, that there is one truth upon which all small-business owners can rely: More often than you want – you’re gym shoes will be taking on water.

How we respond to adversity is the one of the most critical factors of our success. When you search out the common experiences of those who ultimately thrive, you’ll invariably discover at the center a simple, albeit, water-logged mortal who accepted each detour, every miscue and the occasional busted dream as nothing more than the price of admission for doing it on their own. Case in point:

Angelita Moreno Jones is this year’s recipient of the YWCA Achievement Award and was named Entrepreneur of the Year by Women’ Entrepreneurs, Inc. She is CEO of Eastern Personnel, an employment placement company of twelve employees, three offices and a few million in annual sales.

The history of her little company reads like a nasty storm in a Russian novel. Nine of her first clients claimed bankruptcy before they paid their bills. As if non-paying customers weren’t brutal enough, her accountant embezzled her company, then a second accountant and, yep, another embezzlement. Angelita began to squish when she walked.

To help her survive, Angelita’s family paid her rent and fed her at their table. She learned her lessons slowly…painfully…as she put one foot in front of the other. Just after she began walking on her own, a doctor’s mistake during a surgery stretched Angelita’s scheduled four-week recuperation into six months. In this latest bout with the impossible, she set up a command post from her pillow.

Flat on her back and terribly ill, she remained in bed a week at a time and tried to run her company by remote control. Dazed by pain medication, a laptop by her side and employees dutifully at the foot of her bed, she set out to redefine a company culture. She knew she needed to empower her people to pick up the ball that was now impossible for her throw.

But it may have been too little, too late.

Upon a return visit to her office this month, she faced the consequences of a company that has gone too long without its leader. The bottom had dropped out of sales. And once again, she’s face-to-face with the abyss.Angelita has good reason to give up or wrench herself in self-doubt. And no one would have blamed her if she chose to work for someone else and took a deserved breather. Yet, soaking after soaking she refuses to go down.

Her advice isn’t mentioned in any college text or lectured by PhDs. Instead, she offers an emotional roadmap- the kind you need to figure out on your own.' “You have to want it!” she commands. ‘You have to give up everything for it. You need to look at things from every possible angle. Be creative. You have to know yourself. Know your capabilities. This company is my child. I have to see it walk. I want to see it run.”

There’s not necessarily a tidy end to this story. At best we can be amazed spectators pulling for a happy conclusion and hoping her determination will somehow rub off this page. Ask her where she learned such tenacity and she points to her mentor, Aunt Clara. The 78-year-old former teacher and still-active business owner accepted the “Entrepreneur of the Year Award” for her niece when Angelita was confined to her bed.


Aunt Clara insisted that young Angelita read a book each day during summer vacations. She understood adult performance is a consequence of lessons we learn as children. They are the same lessons Aunt Clara read from in the Doctor Seuss book to the roomful of grownup business owners during the award ceremonies.

As it turns out, it is the very legacy Angelita is handing down to the some of her clients at the employment agency. “It’s my obligation,” she says. She provides business clothes to those who can’t afford a suit. She preaches perseverance, encouragement and hope; the kind of umbrellas we all need for the rainy days.

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Dropping Your Drawers in Cincinnati

Desperately Seeking Creativity


(Digital Cincinnati) 

Beginning next month those who will occupy this space will be the local tech industry's movers and shakers. And, from time-to-time, with a little luck, we will hear from those who are a wee bit crazy. Our town is desperately in need of those a wee bit crazy; folks who are inspired, smart, creative, irreverent, successful on their terms and just shy of prescribed medication.

We can learn so much from them.

My favorite wee-bit-crazy person was a former boss of mine at WLW, Randy Michaels. Randy began as the kid Program Director at WKRQ radio and would ultimately work his way to the top of his industry's food chain. He had a curious habit of unceremoniously dropping his pants and pointing his rump. It didn't matter where he was or the target of his butt aiming. It was his signature method toward reminding us life is too darn short.

And, even though he would ultimately become CEO of the largest broadcast company in the country, at age 50 and filthy rich, he continues to display his round silly-looking ass to the world. Unfortunately, such people as Randy are rare in this town. When Richard Florida, author of The Rise of the Creative Class spoke to a sold-out crowd on UC’s campus, he put us near the bottom of his creative/wee-bit-crazy index.

"Unsophisticated," he called us.

I have a theory about our parochial ways. Most often, when we are young and hungry, we begin with fresh ideas but, once successful and encumbered with the spoils of our adult accomplishments, we begin playing preventive defense. We become preoccupied with all the stuff we could lose, rather than focusing on the roads less taken toward critical victories. We manage out of fear rather than inspiration. And, admittedly, plenty of people get wealthy and powerful that way. It's understandable when you manage a company. It's the death knell if your job is to preside over a vision.


You can see the impact such trepidation has throughout Cincinnati's business leadership. We are so afraid to offend, upset or publicly affront. Not because we are exceptionally polite altruistic souls, but because of our own selfish, self-preserving comfort level which doesn't allow us to challenge the world in such a way. The awful thing is that such an attitude is now hardwired into our community. And, it is killing us.


This cautious personality of ours is what keeps getting us into trouble. While Cincinnati's conservatism has given us some wonderful character traits, it makes us slow, almost doddering and as pedestrian as a bologna sandwich. That's not good in our industry where the rules are continually being rewritten. No matter our heritage, upbringing or proclivity for operating out of angst, it's about time we made stars out of those who have the audacity to calmly walk buck naked down the halls of the Chamber of Commerce and at the council meetings in City Hall.


It only seems reasonable that we are willing to practice what we preach. So, our modest little publication will do what it can toward finding those who are willing to take those chances. We thank those underwriters who have joined us for the ride: The Circuit, Main Street Ventures and Max Technical Training. And, although we love them like family, we politely request that our partners keep up their civvies.